Are you getting what you’re worth at work? Probably not. Yesterday I spoke with WABC about a new report that shows men outearn women in nearly every major U.S. market. In many places the gap is more than 100%! Yet, at the same time, a recent study by Catalyst has challenged the myth that women “don’t ask” for promotions and raises. They found that some women do in fact ask– they just aren’t offered as much in return. How can you reconcile this information and do your best to close your own pay gap? Here are some my tips:

• Choose to negotiate. Although there has been new research challenging the notion that women don’t ask for raises, it’s my experience coaching women and particularly millennial women that they are still hesitant to ask for more money or benefits. The biggest improvement most women can make is choosing to negotiate in the first place.
• Gather your arsenal. You need to research the going rate for your contributions. Look at sites like salary.com and glassdoor.com to get comps for what you should be making. Also, practice your pitch. Do a mock conversation with a friend or mentor to build confidence– and brainstorm responses to inevitable counterarguments.
• Quantify your Accomplishments. Never focus on why you need a raise, but instead why you’ve earned it. Be ready to list all your accomplishments in a manner that matters to management. Instead of simply naming what you did, describe the results. What customers or $$$ did you bring to the company? How did you directly contribute to the bottom line?
• Think like a tiger mom. Research has shown that women feel much more comfortable asking for things when negotiating on behalf of someone else– as would an agent, or a mom negotiating for her child! Visualize and think, how would you make a case for them? Then, take your own advice!
• Take “No” for “not now.” We often hear, ‘don’t take no for an answer’– but that’s not very practical advice when it comes to an employment situation and you need the job! If your boss turns down the raise, use the opportunity to get real feedback about what you can do to get a yes next time. Say, “It would really help my future efforts to know what, specifically, I can do to earn this raise.” Get your boss to commit to a timeline of when she’ll reconsider– and follow up in 3, 6, 9 months, etc.

Harvard MBA. Fluent in Spanish, German, and French (plus a little Dari). Expert multi-tasker as deputy director of the Council on Foreign Relations’ Women and Foreign Policy program, contributing editor-at-large for Newsweek and The Daily Beast, and mom to a 10-month-old baby. Gayle Tzemach Lemmon is a woman who got up at 4 a.m. to squeeze writing a (NY Times bestselling) book around a full-time job and actually conducted an interview for a Newsweek story from the hospital when her baby was five days old. She’s driven by some wise words her cousin once told her. “He said, ‘Changing your life is supposed to be this hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it.’ In other words, don’t try to go around the work. You have to go through it,” she says. I caught up with Gayle one morning to learn a few more of her secrets.

I believe in having a plan A, B, and C. You can’t say I’m going to “follow my passion” unless you can also make sure the rent gets paid. I learned this because my mom and aunt were single moms who worked more than one job to make rent.

I try to work out six days a week. It really helped me manage the hormone swings after pregnancy. I do a combination of yoga, dance, and classes at the Tracy Anderson studio.

I recently switched to an iPhone. But I miss my Blackberry keyboard! Now it takes me an hour to send one message.

I’ve been a vegetarian since I was little, to the horror of my family, and try to follow a vegan diet. When I’m traveling [to far-off places], I eat a lot of protein bars, especially Think Thin ones. Afghan food is great. Airplane food is not.

I live by the words of strong women in my family. My mother used to say, “On a scale of major world tragedies, yours isn’t even a three.” Meaning, keep it all in perspective. My aunt would say, “After the dance [i.e., once you make your dream happen], they can’t take it away from you.” And my grandma always encouraged me to take big leaps and not dwell on the downside. She reminded me, “McDonald’s is always hiring.”

To learn more about Gayle, visit her website. And, check out her fantastic TEDx speech here.

Wanted to share this great video I caught on thegrindstone.com of a talk Gayle Tzemach Lemmon gave at a TEDx event. Lemmon is a fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations, a contributing editor-at-large for Newsweek Daily Beast, and author of the New York Times bestseller The Dressmaker of Khair Khana. I’ll be needing to download that to my ipad asap.

In the presentation she talks about her work women interviewing women entrepreneurs all over the world, and urges women to think beyond “micro-hopes” and “micro-ambitions.” Just watch it. You’ll be inspired.

I was so honored and humbled to be named one of the fifteen Most Powerful and Influential Women in Georgia by the National Diversity Council this morning. The awards were part of the Georgia Leadership Conference, and it was incredible day of panel discussions and speeches by go-getters of all ages, races– men and women alike.

The highlight for me was keynote speaker Donna Brazile, who is not only beyond inspiring, but also hilariously funny off-the-cuff (who knew?!). During her address, she spoke about her experiences in politics and media; what it takes to be a leader; and how to nurture your ambition. “Everything you need to succeed is already packaged within you,” Donna said. She shared that what has sustained her through the ups and downs of her career is her core belief that she is doing good, meaningful work. “It’s always been my dream to make a difference– to make the world a better place,” she said. Donna, who hails from New Orleans, also spoke about her passion for cooking. She advised that at all times, all women need these three ingredients in their freezer: onions, garlic, and peppers. She called this the “holy trinity” that will enable you to cook anything. Well, looking at my freezer now, I of course have none of these ingredients

Today the WSJ picks up on a trend that most Go-Getter Girls already knew all about: the blowout. Or as some like to call it, getting your “hair did.” This is one of the easiest, most effective ways to take your glam factor from zero to wow– and to avoid the stress of bad hair days. We saw GGGs designer Liz Lange and beauty entrepreneur Polly Blitzer “can’t live without” their blowouts. And you know that I’ve gotten my hair blown out in salons all over the world, enduring awkwardness and language barriers if need be, to avoid doing my hair myself.

Spending an hour in the salon a few times a week is actually both time and opportunity cost efficient: Unless you’ve got major skills, all the right products and tools (and a healthy dose of patience), chances are a professional blow dry will look way better than you can do yourself. Plus, you’ll have more time to focus on more important things, like what outfit you’re going to wear, what you’re actually going to say during that big presentation.