• Choose to negotiate. Although there has been new research challenging the notion that women don’t ask for raises, it’s my experience coaching women and particularly millennial women that they are still hesitant to ask for more money or benefits. The biggest improvement most women can make is choosing to negotiate in the first place.
• Gather your arsenal. You need to research the going rate for your contributions. Look at sites like salary.com and glassdoor.com to get comps for what you should be making. Also, practice your pitch. Do a mock conversation with a friend or mentor to build confidence– and brainstorm responses to inevitable counterarguments.
• Quantify your Accomplishments. Never focus on why you need a raise, but instead why you’ve earned it. Be ready to list all your accomplishments in a manner that matters to management. Instead of simply naming what you did, describe the results. What customers or $$$ did you bring to the company? How did you directly contribute to the bottom line?
• Think like a tiger mom. Research has shown that women feel much more comfortable asking for things when negotiating on behalf of someone else– as would an agent, or a mom negotiating for her child! Visualize and think, how would you make a case for them? Then, take your own advice!
• Take “No” for “not now.” We often hear, ‘don’t take no for an answer’– but that’s not very practical advice when it comes to an employment situation and you need the job! If your boss turns down the raise, use the opportunity to get real feedback about what you can do to get a yes next time. Say, “It would really help my future efforts to know what, specifically, I can do to earn this raise.” Get your boss to commit to a timeline of when she’ll reconsider– and follow up in 3, 6, 9 months, etc.

I believe in having a plan A, B, and C. You can’t say I’m going to “follow my passion” unless you can also make sure the rent gets paid. I learned this because my mom and aunt were single moms who worked more than one job to make rent.

I try to work out six days a week. It really helped me manage the hormone swings after pregnancy. I do a combination of yoga, dance, and classes at the Tracy Anderson studio.

I recently switched to an iPhone. But I miss my Blackberry keyboard! Now it takes me an hour to send one message.

I’ve been a vegetarian since I was little, to the horror of my family, and try to follow a vegan diet. When I’m traveling [to far-off places], I eat a lot of protein bars, especially Think Thin ones. Afghan food is great. Airplane food is not.

I live by the words of strong women in my family. My mother used to say, “On a scale of major world tragedies, yours isn’t even a three.” Meaning, keep it all in perspective. My aunt would say, “After the dance [i.e., once you make your dream happen], they can’t take it away from you.” And my grandma always encouraged me to take big leaps and not dwell on the downside. She reminded me, “McDonald’s is always hiring.”

To learn more about Gayle, visit her website. And, check out her fantastic TEDx speech here.

My column will appear a few times a month, and I’ll be acting as their spokesperson on tv. Here are two of my latest segments, on Today Show, chatting about career change, and CNN, with tips for Creative Resolutions.

In the presentation she talks about her work women interviewing women entrepreneurs all over the world, and urges women to think beyond “micro-hopes” and “micro-ambitions.” Just watch it. You’ll be inspired.

That said, the New Year is a great time to review your accomplishments of the past year, regroup from disappointments, and brainstorm bigger and better dreams for the coming year. If you want to find a creative way to renew this year and ditch the typical resolution fare (in case you haven’t heard, about 97% of New Year’s resolutions fail!), here are a few ideas:

• Have a family summit. This is more of a goal setting exercise, rather than resolutions (apparently, even the Kardashians do this each year!). My husband and I started doing this several years ago. Set aside a special time to review the family accomplishments of the past year, and think positively about the new one. Pick 3-4 big categories in your lives– career, family, health, money, etc.– and come up with a handful of yearly goals in each department. Choose attainable goals/projects (paint the house, ask for a promotion)– along with a few reach goals. The idea is that you’ll check in with your goals a couple times during the next year.
• Pick a theme. Another new year’s trend is to skip the traditional restrictive resolutions (i.e., quit smoking, lose weight) and instead pick a broad theme to inspire your actions during the upcoming year. This can literally be one word–  perhaps it’s “family” or “gratitude” or “relaxation”. This is a lower-stress way to encourage broader changes in your thinking and priorities throughout the year.
• Do a massive “edit”– from closets to Facebook. We hear so much about spring cleaning, but the new year is a great time to “prune” what’s weighing you down from the previous year. Go through, say, your bathroom cabinets, make up bag or closet and ruthlessly toss the items you haven’t used in months. I plan to finally purge the boxes and bags of makeup samples I’ve had for years (in fact, maybe I’ll do this today!). Also, consider pruning your Facebook friends and even your contacts in your phone. If you haven’t spoken or interacted with contacts (or, you just have people hanging in there that consistently annoy you), just press delete. You’ll instantly feel lighter.
• Think “wants” rather than “shoulds”. The top resolutions are consistently to stop smoking and lose weight–things we all should do to be healthy. Yet the #1 reason for failing to keep up the resolution is lack of motivation. Instead of saying what “should” I do or what do I need to do, ask yourself what do I really WANT to change about my life? To keep up that motivation, you really have to want to make a certain life change. This year, pick a small new year’s goal that sparks passion and fun in your life– maybe you always wanted to take a painting or photography class. Do it!

The highlight for me was keynote speaker Donna Brazile, who is not only beyond inspiring, but also hilariously funny off-the-cuff (who knew?!). During her address, she spoke about her experiences in politics and media; what it takes to be a leader; and how to nurture your ambition. “Everything you need to succeed is already packaged within you,” Donna said. She shared that what has sustained her through the ups and downs of her career is her core belief that she is doing good, meaningful work. “It’s always been my dream to make a difference– to make the world a better place,” she said. Donna, who hails from New Orleans, also spoke about her passion for cooking. She advised that at all times, all women need these three ingredients in their freezer: onions, garlic, and peppers. She called this the “holy trinity” that will enable you to cook anything. Well, looking at my freezer now, I of course have none of these ingredients

Spending an hour in the salon a few times a week is actually both time and opportunity cost efficient: Unless you’ve got major skills, all the right products and tools (and a healthy dose of patience), chances are a professional blow dry will look way better than you can do yourself. Plus, you’ll have more time to focus on more important things, like what outfit you’re going to wear, what you’re actually going to say during that big presentation.

1. People not taking ownership of their actions
2. Constant complainers
3. Dirty common areas
4. Starting meetings late or going long
5. People who don’t respond to emails

LinkedIn’s survey also found interesting correlations related to gender. For example, 62 percent of U.S. women were bothered by “clothing that’s too revealing for the workplace,” while only 29 percent of U.S. men surveyed said that was a problem (Is this really surprising?!).

There are also many cross-cultural differences. Americans are particularly bothered by people stealing food from the communal fridge. Swedes are less bothered by revealing clothing in the workplace. Germans are most annoyed by dirty common areas.

Job seekers should also take note: hiring managers were more peeved than others by people who were late.

To see the full press release, visit LinkedIn’s site.

So, what are your top office pet peeves?

• She routinely works 18-hour days writing for the show, starting at 10 a.m. and leaving after 7 p.m. On days when she acts in the show, too, she starts at 6 a.m. for hair & makeup, then jets back and forth all day between the writer’s room and set. She never volunteers to leave early.
• Her big break came just one year after college, when a goofy short play she wrote about Ben Affleck and Matt Damon became a surprise hit at a New York festival. The producer of The Office hired her as a writer two months later.

I think there’s a great lesson in this latter story: start doing your own thing (just do it!), and it could be the unexpected audition for your dream job.

Mindy has a memoir coming out in November called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns). It will definitely be on my reading list!

Photo: Justin Stephens for The New York Times

Warning: the production values ain’t no Today Show!