Last week I attended an amazing conference, the Atlanta Urban Entrepreneurship Forum, featuring keynote speakers Tyler Perry and one of our own featured GGGs, dancer Ofelia de la Valette. As I was sitting here going through a zillion business cards gathered throughout the day, I thought of how often people ask me, “how do I follow-up when I meet someone new at an event?” For my debut video tip, here’s my answer.

Warning: the production values ain’t no Today Show!

Dear GGG, Help! I’m a communications student trying to land a summer internship, and so far I’m having no luck. I’ve applied to dozens of posted positions on literally every job board I can think of—and nothing.  I’m even willing to work unpaid! What am I doing wrong? – Madison, age 23, Washington, D.C.

Hi Madison!

Well, it sounds like your major mistake is relying on job boards! Don’t get me wrong; job boards have a place in the hiring eco-system. It’s just usually not the best way to apply to and land open positions, especially in glamour-type professions such as publicity. Why not? First, if it’s a big job board (e.g., Monster), or the website of a large company, your resume is a needle in a haystack of literally tens of thousands of resumes gathered for the position. Even if it’s a smaller board, you’re leaving too much to chance that a “key word” search of the database will pull up your application, or that a recruiter’s quick glance of your resume will sufficiently grab his or her attention.

Second, most good jobs are either 1) already filled –or ‘slated’ with internal candidates– by the time they’re posted or 2) not ever listed on a job board. This is particularly true for highly-competitive industries in which the supply of candidates far exceeds the demand.  Before even looking through a stack of new resumes, managers usually have a handful of folks on their radar—such as people who have informational interviewed with them before, former employees, or other professional acquaintances—that they can pick up the phone and call about the opportunity.  Which is why you’re kind of wasting your time mindlessly dropping your resume into a job board black hole.

You’d be much better off spending zero (you read that right: zero!) time on job boards. Starting today, research a dozen medium-sized companies/firms that really inspire you.  Do some investigation on Google, Linked In and even Facebook and figure out how to get in touch with the company’s executives. Send ‘em a letter or email passionately expressing your interest in the company and any opportunities there. Include your resume. Ask for an informational call or meeting. No, you’re not being “too aggressive.” Think about it: What do you think you’ll be doing if you actually get hired to be a publicist? You’ll be cold calling people, trying to sell yourself and your client! The skills needed to be good at the job—e.g., confidence, fearlessness, resourcefulness—are exactly the skills you need to get the job.

Now, get after it!

Dear GGG, I recently lost my job and my finances are really tight. Every time I get asked out on a date, I decline or make excuses because I can’t afford to go out! I guess I’m the type of girl who likes to pay for the popcorn when the guy pays for the movie tickets. What should I do? How can you date when you’re broke?! — Marla*, age 27, Tampa

Dear Marla, I’m so sorry to hear you lost your job. I’ll be honest: my thoughts on dating tend toward the traditional. I think the guy should pay, at least on the first handful of dates. Even if the date is inexpensive, it’s a gesture that is more about the romance (and, I’ll add that if a guy really likes you, he’ll insist on paying even if he had to borrow money to try and impress you. Ever read the book The Rules? I’m a big fan…)

This is not to say that you should show up to the date unprepared in the event that he isn’t planning to pay; we’re financially independent after all. One friend of mine refers to the “obligatory reach for the wallet” when the check comes; he’ll likely stop you before you actually take out a card! Which brings us to your dilemma. You deserve to go out and have some fun (plus, it’s never good for the self-esteem and job-hunting confidence to stay cooped up like a prisoner in your house). Ideally, I would put aside an “emergency date fund”, maybe $50-$75 so that you know you have some mad money if you’re on a first date and the guy unexpectedly asks you to go dutch. Another option is to be completely upfront about your situation when he asks you out. Say something like, “I’d love to, but my budget is really tight these days.” Definitely do NOT ask him to pay, mention money, or seem like you’re just trying to get a free meal. But you’ll see his reaction. Most guys that are really interested in you will say immediately that the date will be ‘their treat.’ Or, they will plan something unique that doesn’t cost any money. If the guy makes a big fuss one way or another, he’s probably not worth dating anyway.  On to the NEXT!!!!

Dear GGG, How high is too high of a heel for a law office? I have a pair of sky-high chunky platforms that I’m dying to wear, but I’m not sure if they’re too over-the-top. And what about if I’m going to court? — Paula*, age 34, Chicago

Hi Paula! When it comes to office attire, you can follow the same maxim for good writing: When it doubt, cut it out! I’m all for self-expression, and shoes are one of the best sartorial ways us gals get to do that at work. But if it feels more like a date-night shoe rather than a conference room shoe, it probably is. A four-inch height stiletto (plus, maybe, a 1/2 inch platform like the Nine West pump at left) is probably your max, with a slightly lower, thicker heel best for court. Definitely don’t wear shoes to work that could verge on, well, stripper heels. What exactly constitutes a stripper heel?! You know it when you see it. It’s a combination of shoe material (perhaps patent, Lucite, or anything shiny), heel height and thickness (about 5 inches by 1 inch), and platform (at least ½ an inch).

Have a question for GGG? Email debra@thegogettergirls.com!

Photo: Nordstrom

Dear GGG, I work in a big corporation and know I need to be doing more informational meetings with senior staffers to raise my profile. But I’m not sure what I’m actually supposed to ask when I meet with someone. How do I appear like I have my act together and am genuine– even if I really don’t have anything profound to ask? — Selena*, age 24, Tuscon

Hi Selena! First, try to schedule meetings only with folks that you are actually interested in learning more about! Second, you’re right: you have to come to the table with something specific, and the farther along you are in your career, the more specific that purpose needs to be. You don’t want to be wasting their time– whether it’s a 10 minute chat over coffee or an hour-long lunch. If you’re the one who requested the meeting, understand that the other person doesn’t view it as a “Let’s get to know each other and chat” meeting. They perceive you’re coming to them for specific advice or guidance or help. So you need to come up with a mini-mission for the meeting– and if you don’t feel inspired, make one up! Spend some time researching the interviewee’s background on the company website/Google– and come up with the key theme you want to learn more about. For example: How did this person arrive in their position? How did getting that MBA/JD/Masters help them advance? How did they spearhead a particular initiative that you think is really cool? Here’s the setup: “I’ve really admired how you’ve done X, and I really wanted to learn more about your experiences” or “I’m wondering if you have any advice on how I can do X, too.” (For more general suggestions on other questions to ask during the meeting, check out this post).

Sidenote, the main purpose shouldn’t be, “Can you give me 5 contacts to help me accomplish X?” or “Do you know of any openings in Y?” You can ask those questions at the end of the meeting if the context feels right, but the main point of the meeting is to gain information and learn about the interviewee’s experience and perspective. You also need to be prepared that the interviewee will ask you what it is you want to do, and you need to have an answer– even if you blurt out that your goal is to get promoted to the next rung on the ladder by the end of the year. But be prepared.  The more specific your goal, the more likely the interviewee will offer key contacts and help open doors. I’ve walked into meetings where the first question from the interviewee is “So, what can I do to help you?” and it was clear they meant they were willing to make introductions and phone calls on my behalf– not just share advice.