I recently spoke with CNN about tips for women to earn their worth in the work world. If you’re thinking about asking for a raise (and given the gross disparity in wages between men and women, you likely should be!), try these tips:

• Choose to negotiate. Although there has been new research challenging the notion that women don’t ask for raises, it’s my experience coaching women and particularly millennial women that they are still hesitant to ask for more money or benefits. The biggest improvement most women can make is choosing to negotiate in the first place.
• Gather your arsenal. You need to research the going rate for your contributions. Look at sites like salary.com and glassdoor.com to get comps for what you should be making. Also, practice your pitch. Do a mock conversation with a friend or mentor to build confidence– and brainstorm responses to inevitable counterarguments.
• Quantify your Accomplishments. Never focus on why you need a raise, but instead why you’ve earned it. Be ready to list all your accomplishments in a manner that matters to management. Instead of simply naming what you did, describe the results. What customers or $$$ did you bring to the company? How did you directly contribute to the bottom line?
• Think like a tiger mom. Research has shown that women feel much more comfortable asking for things when negotiating on behalf of someone else– as would an agent, or a mom negotiating for her child! Visualize and think, how would you make a case for them? Then, take your own advice!
• Take “No” for “not now.” We often hear, ‘don’t take no for an answer’– but that’s not very practical advice when it comes to an employment situation and you need the job! If your boss turns down the raise, use the opportunity to get real feedback about what you can do to get a yes next time. Say, “It would really help my future efforts to know what, specifically, I can do to earn this raise.” Get your boss to commit to a timeline of when she’ll reconsider– and follow up in 3, 6, 9 months, etc.

Harvard MBA. Fluent in Spanish, German, and French (plus a little Dari). Expert multi-tasker as deputy director of the Council on Foreign Relations’ Women and Foreign Policy program, contributing editor-at-large for Newsweek and The Daily Beast, and mom to a 10-month-old baby. Gayle Tzemach Lemmon is a woman who got up at 4 a.m. to squeeze writing a (NY Times bestselling) book around a full-time job and actually conducted an interview for a Newsweek story from the hospital when her baby was five days old. She’s driven by some wise words her cousin once told her. “He said, ‘Changing your life is supposed to be this hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it.’ In other words, don’t try to go around the work. You have to go through it,” she says. I caught up with Gayle one morning to learn a few more of her secrets.

I believe in having a plan A, B, and C. You can’t say I’m going to “follow my passion” unless you can also make sure the rent gets paid. I learned this because my mom and aunt were single moms who worked more than one job to make rent.

I try to work out six days a week. It really helped me manage the hormone swings after pregnancy. I do a combination of yoga, dance, and classes at the Tracy Anderson studio.

I recently switched to an iPhone. But I miss my Blackberry keyboard! Now it takes me an hour to send one message.

I’ve been a vegetarian since I was little, to the horror of my family, and try to follow a vegan diet. When I’m traveling [to far-off places], I eat a lot of protein bars, especially Think Thin ones. Afghan food is great. Airplane food is not.

I live by the words of strong women in my family. My mother used to say, “On a scale of major world tragedies, yours isn’t even a three.” Meaning, keep it all in perspective. My aunt would say, “After the dance [i.e., once you make your dream happen], they can’t take it away from you.” And my grandma always encouraged me to take big leaps and not dwell on the downside. She reminded me, “McDonald’s is always hiring.”

To learn more about Gayle, visit her website. And, check out her fantastic TEDx speech here.

Exciting news! I’ve recently been named Editor-At-Large for career website TheGrindstone. Check out this site for all the latest news, gossip, and research for professional women– delivered with a fun twist. Their tagline? “Where work comes to play.”

My column will appear a few times a month, and I’ll be acting as their spokesperson on tv. Here are two of my latest segments, on Today Show, chatting about career change, and CNN, with tips for Creative Resolutions.

Wanted to share this great video I caught on thegrindstone.com of a talk Gayle Tzemach Lemmon gave at a TEDx event. Lemmon is a fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations, a contributing editor-at-large for Newsweek Daily Beast, and author of the New York Times bestseller The Dressmaker of Khair Khana. I’ll be needing to download that to my ipad asap.

In the presentation she talks about her work women interviewing women entrepreneurs all over the world, and urges women to think beyond “micro-hopes” and “micro-ambitions.” Just watch it. You’ll be inspired.

I’m not such a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I tend to believe that there’s never a perfect time to get going on a new goal or project– so it’s better to just start now, where you are, rather than wait for the so-called perfect day to begin.  Case in point, I’ve been lax on my blogging (!) and trust me, even though I was tempted, rather than put it off even more and tell myself “okay, when the New Year starts, I resolve to blog 3 times a week,” I’m just going to post a little something RIGHT NOW. You can only start right where you are.

That said, the New Year is a great time to review your accomplishments of the past year, regroup from disappointments, and brainstorm bigger and better dreams for the coming year. If you want to find a creative way to renew this year and ditch the typical resolution fare (in case you haven’t heard, about 97% of New Year’s resolutions fail!), here are a few ideas:

• Have a family summit. This is more of a goal setting exercise, rather than resolutions (apparently, even the Kardashians do this each year!). My husband and I started doing this several years ago. Set aside a special time to review the family accomplishments of the past year, and think positively about the new one. Pick 3-4 big categories in your lives– career, family, health, money, etc.– and come up with a handful of yearly goals in each department. Choose attainable goals/projects (paint the house, ask for a promotion)– along with a few reach goals. The idea is that you’ll check in with your goals a couple times during the next year.
• Pick a theme. Another new year’s trend is to skip the traditional restrictive resolutions (i.e., quit smoking, lose weight) and instead pick a broad theme to inspire your actions during the upcoming year. This can literally be one word–  perhaps it’s “family” or “gratitude” or “relaxation”. This is a lower-stress way to encourage broader changes in your thinking and priorities throughout the year.
• Do a massive “edit”– from closets to Facebook. We hear so much about spring cleaning, but the new year is a great time to “prune” what’s weighing you down from the previous year. Go through, say, your bathroom cabinets, make up bag or closet and ruthlessly toss the items you haven’t used in months. I plan to finally purge the boxes and bags of makeup samples I’ve had for years (in fact, maybe I’ll do this today!). Also, consider pruning your Facebook friends and even your contacts in your phone. If you haven’t spoken or interacted with contacts (or, you just have people hanging in there that consistently annoy you), just press delete. You’ll instantly feel lighter.
• Think “wants” rather than “shoulds”. The top resolutions are consistently to stop smoking and lose weight–things we all should do to be healthy. Yet the #1 reason for failing to keep up the resolution is lack of motivation. Instead of saying what “should” I do or what do I need to do, ask yourself what do I really WANT to change about my life? To keep up that motivation, you really have to want to make a certain life change. This year, pick a small new year’s goal that sparks passion and fun in your life– maybe you always wanted to take a painting or photography class. Do it!