Harvard MBA. Fluent in Spanish, German, and French (plus a little Dari). Expert multi-tasker as deputy director of the Council on Foreign Relations’ Women and Foreign Policy program, contributing editor-at-large for Newsweek and The Daily Beast, and mom to a 10-month-old baby. Gayle Tzemach Lemmon is a woman who got up at 4 a.m. to squeeze writing a (NY Times bestselling) book around a full-time job and actually conducted an interview for a Newsweek story from the hospital when her baby was five days old. She’s driven by some wise words her cousin once told her. “He said, ‘Changing your life is supposed to be this hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it.’ In other words, don’t try to go around the work. You have to go through it,” she says. I caught up with Gayle one morning to learn a few more of her secrets.

I believe in having a plan A, B, and C. You can’t say I’m going to “follow my passion” unless you can also make sure the rent gets paid. I learned this because my mom and aunt were single moms who worked more than one job to make rent.

I try to work out six days a week. It really helped me manage the hormone swings after pregnancy. I do a combination of yoga, dance, and classes at the Tracy Anderson studio.

I recently switched to an iPhone. But I miss my Blackberry keyboard! Now it takes me an hour to send one message.

I’ve been a vegetarian since I was little, to the horror of my family, and try to follow a vegan diet. When I’m traveling [to far-off places], I eat a lot of protein bars, especially Think Thin ones. Afghan food is great. Airplane food is not.

I live by the words of strong women in my family. My mother used to say, “On a scale of major world tragedies, yours isn’t even a three.” Meaning, keep it all in perspective. My aunt would say, “After the dance [i.e., once you make your dream happen], they can’t take it away from you.” And my grandma always encouraged me to take big leaps and not dwell on the downside. She reminded me, “McDonald’s is always hiring.”

To learn more about Gayle, visit her website. And, check out her fantastic TEDx speech here.

I’m not such a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I tend to believe that there’s never a perfect time to get going on a new goal or project– so it’s better to just start now, where you are, rather than wait for the so-called perfect day to begin.  Case in point, I’ve been lax on my blogging (!) and trust me, even though I was tempted, rather than put it off even more and tell myself “okay, when the New Year starts, I resolve to blog 3 times a week,” I’m just going to post a little something RIGHT NOW. You can only start right where you are.

That said, the New Year is a great time to review your accomplishments of the past year, regroup from disappointments, and brainstorm bigger and better dreams for the coming year. If you want to find a creative way to renew this year and ditch the typical resolution fare (in case you haven’t heard, about 97% of New Year’s resolutions fail!), here are a few ideas:

• Have a family summit. This is more of a goal setting exercise, rather than resolutions (apparently, even the Kardashians do this each year!). My husband and I started doing this several years ago. Set aside a special time to review the family accomplishments of the past year, and think positively about the new one. Pick 3-4 big categories in your lives– career, family, health, money, etc.– and come up with a handful of yearly goals in each department. Choose attainable goals/projects (paint the house, ask for a promotion)– along with a few reach goals. The idea is that you’ll check in with your goals a couple times during the next year.
• Pick a theme. Another new year’s trend is to skip the traditional restrictive resolutions (i.e., quit smoking, lose weight) and instead pick a broad theme to inspire your actions during the upcoming year. This can literally be one word–  perhaps it’s “family” or “gratitude” or “relaxation”. This is a lower-stress way to encourage broader changes in your thinking and priorities throughout the year.
• Do a massive “edit”– from closets to Facebook. We hear so much about spring cleaning, but the new year is a great time to “prune” what’s weighing you down from the previous year. Go through, say, your bathroom cabinets, make up bag or closet and ruthlessly toss the items you haven’t used in months. I plan to finally purge the boxes and bags of makeup samples I’ve had for years (in fact, maybe I’ll do this today!). Also, consider pruning your Facebook friends and even your contacts in your phone. If you haven’t spoken or interacted with contacts (or, you just have people hanging in there that consistently annoy you), just press delete. You’ll instantly feel lighter.
• Think “wants” rather than “shoulds”. The top resolutions are consistently to stop smoking and lose weight–things we all should do to be healthy. Yet the #1 reason for failing to keep up the resolution is lack of motivation. Instead of saying what “should” I do or what do I need to do, ask yourself what do I really WANT to change about my life? To keep up that motivation, you really have to want to make a certain life change. This year, pick a small new year’s goal that sparks passion and fun in your life– maybe you always wanted to take a painting or photography class. Do it!

Ofelia de La Valette always wanted to be a dancer, but after marrying young and having kids, the Cuban native chose a sensible path– insurance broker– and built a successful career. But when she was 34, some stubborn baby weight led her toward the pulse of a dance exercise class, and reignited her dormant passion. One weekly class soon became twelve. In 2004, she opened Atlanta-based Dance 101, a studio geared toward adult dancers that is now the largest of its kind in the country. Here, Ofelia shares three lessons learned during her dramatic reinvention.

Start where you are.

“I began training at an age when most professional dancers are retiring. But, I had mentality that if I kept this up, by the time I was 50 I’d be a phenomenal dancer. I was going to make up the 20 years I lost. It’s never too late to get really good at something no matter how old you are when you begin. The age you start is just your starting point. If you layer consistency and practice, you’ll move forward.”

Chase the purpose, not the paycheck.

“When I started the studio, I had the moral support of my students and family, but nobody was going to pay my bills for me! But, I felt the future is today, and if I don’t follow my dream now I may not get that opportunity. I wanted to do something that got me out of bed and gave my life a deeper sense of purpose. I understood the financial sacrifice that goes with it. It’s hard in the beginning but, having been a businesswoman for years, I knew that it would get better. Now, the studio supports me [financially] at a level greater than insurance did.”

Make friends with your fear.

“Hands down, fear is the greatest deterrent to happiness. It keeps you confined in a box. You won’t accomplish anything if you can’t come to terms with fear. I dealt with fear by welcoming it into my life. I said, ‘Fear, you’re going to be my constant companion. I’m going to acknowledge you– but that’s it. I’m not going to let you talk me out of anything that is in my plan.’”

To learn more about Ofelia (and her amazing dance studio), visit www.dance101.org.

Growing up around her Italian family in Michigan, Michelle Bommarito— best known as a cake design guru on Food Network Challenge— learned to love being in the kitchen. As a child, she helped out on weekends at her family’s Italian Market, Bommarito Brothers CO, and just enjoyed being around food.

“Whenever I wasn’t at my dad’s store, I would be in the kitchen with my Mom and my grandparents,” she says. But she never thought food would be her life’s calling. Instead, her dream was to one day own a bed and breakfast in Europe.  Michelle graduated with a Marketing Management major and a Psychology minor from the University of Michigan, and her first job out of college was for Marriott.

She resisted being around baking and cooking, but her heart kept being pulled in the direction of the kitchen. After working in the marketing and hotel business for years, Michelle decided to take a bread-making class, just for the fun of it.

“I didn’t think I was going to culinary school to change my career,” she says. “I thought it was to have that backbone and knowledge as a woman.”

After a nudge from a coworker to pursue cooking school, she attended The Institute of Culinary Education in New York. Then, she moved back to Michigan, and opened her own wedding and pastry business called Michelle Bommarito LLC.

It was a slow start; her first year she had just 17 wedding cakes.  “But then, it grew to 35 and then to 55 a year. It just kept building,” she says. “Whatever you want to do, go out there and do it! Volunteer, do charity work; I can’t tell you how much charity work I did to get my name out there. I was doing what I loved even though I wasn’t getting paid.”

After running the business for 10 years, Michelle got the itch for something new. “I always loved what I did for a living,” Michelle says. “But then I started feeling that figurative tap on your shoulder, you know, that feeling that says ‘Hey, you are not doing exactly what you should be doing, ‘ I knew it was time for that transition, to take a risk.”

In 2009 she closed up shop and decided to try her hand as a traveling chef, teaching her vast knowledge of cake design, and also conducting “Eating Well” Speaking Engagements and Super Power Food Culinary Demonstrations.  Years earlier (before she even opened her cake company), Michelle had found herself bed-ridden from working too much. “After about a couple months of putting up with it, my cousin took me under her wing and said, ‘Michelle, you’re going to my Holistic doctor,’” she says.

The doctor put her on an extreme diet that consisted of grains, lean cuts of meat, nuts, flaxseed oil and vegetables.  After two weeks on the regimen, Michelle was filled with bouncing energy– and she’s kept up the healthy lifestyle for fifteen years. (Yes that’s right: the cake designer doesn’t eat cake–except of course to test each batch of her creations for quality, and the occasional “just a bite” at a party to celebrate!)

Making wellness her primary career focus was a natural progression. Says Michelle, “I just decided one day, I really think I’m supposed to follow in the wellness direction. I lived it for so long and I believed in it. It’s good for my body and it made me be who I am as far as my high energy.”

As for what’s next in Michelle’s life, only time can tell.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do next,” she said. “It happens to be every 10 to 12 years is when I evolve; ironically it’s what happens.”

Inspirational, that doesn’t even begin to describe this risk taker, but ambitious and courageous . . . that’s a start.

Needs some inspiration for taking the plunge in your career?

Check out The 9 steps of getting started the Bommarito style:

1.     Find your strength and your passion.

2.     Invest in your knowledge and skills.

3.     Create your own style and niche.

4.     Develop (figure out what is good for you to make you a success).

5.     Impress quality in every aspect of your job, career or passion.

6.     Not all business is good business, check who you will do business with.

7.     Know your competition.

8.     Price yourself correctly (competitively and accordingly to what’s right in the market).

9.     Put yourself out there and market yourself.

–Erin Lucido

It has been just over three months since I shared a few of my go-getting goals with you.  There were a few times I fell off the wagon, cringed when I wanted to stay home instead of going to an event, and settled for less than a hundred percent.  That being said, I have successfully accomplished all of the goals I had set out to do three months ago.  Just being able to say “I did it!” is rewarding, but the lessons I learned along the way and the motivation I gained are the best parts of the journey.  Raising the bar for oneself or continually setting bigger goals isn’t about living a life of dissatisfaction.  Goals shouldn’t be set just because someone wants more or even feels like they need more.  Goals are about growth, about being better as a person, and giving yourself positive feedback about the person you are.  I may still be twenty-something and still striving to be successful writer, but I’m better than I was before I set these goals for myself, including as a professional.

Invitations hardly ever came across as inviting to me.  Sometimes I worried about accepting an invitation because I thought other plans might come through.  The problem with that was that the other plans didn’t come through. (More than likely I had turned them down as well!)  That mentality added up to a lot of missed chances and missed opportunities.  I wouldn’t say that in the past three months I’ve turned into a “Yes Man” (better yet, Woman).  Instead,  I no longer look at every  invitation as something trying to steal my time, my funds, or whatever else excuse I’ve made up for it in the past.

For instance, how could I have let myself miss out on my most recent invite?  I’m so pleased and excited about my recent invitation to help the Make A Wish Foundation with publicizing an upcoming event.  Accepting the invitation, has given me the opportunity to learn more about effective social media methods, PR writing, and all the while giving back.  Remembering to look at the big picture, I consider all invitations as an opportunity first rather than an obstacle.

Working out regularly has always been a method for me to keep my sanity and stay grounded.  When I stopped going to the gym regularly, I could just tell I was different.  I was crabbier, pessimistic, and goodness—I had a difficult time focusing!  It has been a huge relief finally getting back on a workout schedule and maintaining a minimum of four gym visits a week.  I feel better in all of my clothes (although, it definitely gets me in the mood to shop more!) which is an instant wardrobe lift.  There were a couple of occasions that I pulled a few things out of the closet that I had been debating on whether to donate, only to fall in love with them all over again once I tried them on.  Confidence aside, my regular workouts give me more energy and optimism to work hard throughout the day.

Three months is a short time in the grand scheme of things, but it is plenty of time to get on the right track.  2011 is a new year and I can’t imagine what I’ll accomplish in the next twelve months, but having seen what I can do in three, I’ll just take it three months at a time.  What will your three-month goals be?

–Cassandra Altmann