• Choose to negotiate. Although there has been new research challenging the notion that women don’t ask for raises, it’s my experience coaching women and particularly millennial women that they are still hesitant to ask for more money or benefits. The biggest improvement most women can make is choosing to negotiate in the first place.
• Gather your arsenal. You need to research the going rate for your contributions. Look at sites like salary.com and glassdoor.com to get comps for what you should be making. Also, practice your pitch. Do a mock conversation with a friend or mentor to build confidence– and brainstorm responses to inevitable counterarguments.
• Quantify your Accomplishments. Never focus on why you need a raise, but instead why you’ve earned it. Be ready to list all your accomplishments in a manner that matters to management. Instead of simply naming what you did, describe the results. What customers or $$$ did you bring to the company? How did you directly contribute to the bottom line?
• Think like a tiger mom. Research has shown that women feel much more comfortable asking for things when negotiating on behalf of someone else– as would an agent, or a mom negotiating for her child! Visualize and think, how would you make a case for them? Then, take your own advice!
• Take “No” for “not now.” We often hear, ‘don’t take no for an answer’– but that’s not very practical advice when it comes to an employment situation and you need the job! If your boss turns down the raise, use the opportunity to get real feedback about what you can do to get a yes next time. Say, “It would really help my future efforts to know what, specifically, I can do to earn this raise.” Get your boss to commit to a timeline of when she’ll reconsider– and follow up in 3, 6, 9 months, etc.

My column will appear a few times a month, and I’ll be acting as their spokesperson on tv. Here are two of my latest segments, on Today Show, chatting about career change, and CNN, with tips for Creative Resolutions.

• She routinely works 18-hour days writing for the show, starting at 10 a.m. and leaving after 7 p.m. On days when she acts in the show, too, she starts at 6 a.m. for hair & makeup, then jets back and forth all day between the writer’s room and set. She never volunteers to leave early.
• Her big break came just one year after college, when a goofy short play she wrote about Ben Affleck and Matt Damon became a surprise hit at a New York festival. The producer of The Office hired her as a writer two months later.

I think there’s a great lesson in this latter story: start doing your own thing (just do it!), and it could be the unexpected audition for your dream job.

Mindy has a memoir coming out in November called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns). It will definitely be on my reading list!

Photo: Justin Stephens for The New York Times

• Be bold. Grow your network before you need to use it. On Linkedin, for example, they recommend you build at least 50 contacts because that’s when you start to see 2nd and 3rd degree connections. For college students, you might start with your friends, sorority/fraternity connections, colleagues from internships, or even professors you admire. What about Facebook? Say you want to work in magazines. Well, yes, it’s okay to “friend” big name editors you admire (the same goes for execs at companies you’re really passionate about). On a daily basis I see status updates from Facebook friends announcing actual jobs with actual email addresses of the person who is hiring. This is how you can get the inside scoop on real opportunities out there– before they hit the job boards.
• Complete your profile. Linkedin is the new resume– and you wouldn’t send out a half-completed resume for a job application, right?! According to Linkedin, you’re 12 times more likely to be viewed for opportunities if you have more than one position listed in your profile– so make sure to add all those past internships and summer jobs. Also, you’re 7 times more likely to be viewed if you have a picture on your Linkedin profile. Even on the new Facebook profile, you want to make sure your relevant professional background and school shows up at the top of your page. And of course, if you’re on the job hunt you need to recheck your privacy settings and scrub your profile of anything that would turn off potential employers (including watching those tweets and status updates)!
• Start “stalking” your favorite companies: I’m kidding a little bit (!)– but one of the best ways to utilize social media is to research the companies you want to work for. Use Linkedin to look up hiring managers or executives; research relevant levels of experience for employees; or you can even follow companies to see who’s recently joined or departed the company. Check out what’s happening on their Facebook and Twitter pages and discussion groups. This gives you great insight into the hot topics and relevant industry trends that will set you apart in the interview process.
• Close the loop OFFLINE: Social media isn’t enough. Yes, it’s easier to FIND people (and for them to find you) through social media– but what then? You actually need to take the step to ask for an informational phone call, meeting, or lunch. Or, ask them if they’d take two minutes to review your resume. Or, maybe you meet a recruiter at a college job fair;  THEN follow up through interaction on Linkedin or Facebook. It’s the in-person connection and cultivating the relationship offline that really opens the doors to new opportunities.

• Try before you buy. Major chains like LA Fitness, Gold’s, 24 Hour Fitness offer one- or two-week trial passes; even if it’s not advertised, ask for one–and sometimes, they’ll match competitor’s trial offers. (Sidenote: Even with major chains, individual locations might owned by franchisees so there’s more room to negotiate than you might think!). You can get crafty by “trying” 3-4 places over the next month and pay nothing till February.
• Know what you’re looking for. You’re more likely to go to a gym that fits your lifestyle and personality. First, don’t choose someplace that’s more than 10 min from your house or office– you won’t go! Think about: Do you need someplace w multiple locations? Childcare? A great pool? Also, test a gym during the hours you’ll actually go. Ask in-the-know friends/colleagues what the “vibe” is like at certain area gyms (where’s the great “singles” gym?). Take a few classes to evaluate if the teachers are up to par. These are lifestyle factors to consider when gym shopping.
• Take advantage of promos. Ask about special promotions, but first check your employee benefits because a big way to save is through corporate and group rates that aren’t always advertised. Existing members should look into whether their gym offers a refer-a-friend program, which can shave $10 or more off monthly dues, or get you a free personal training session/free month. (And if they don’t offer one, try to negotiate it!) Also, family or married couple discounts are easy ways to shave hundreds of dollars off gym fees — and get initiation fees waived.
• Don’t get locked in. This is how most people lose their money: you get the lowest “monthly rate” by pre-paying for a year or more. Don’t do it! Always choose month-to-month memberships—with, say, a 30-day cancellation policy. Nothing is a bargain if you don’t show up.
• Get a special deal online. You may have the best of intentions, but statistically most “resolution” folks quit by March! So, set yourself up for success by signing up for a month-long boot camp or short-term deal on sites like groupon.com and halfoffdepot.com. My gym, for example, was just on halfoffdepot.com the other day offering for $45 one month of gym usage plus 4 personal training sessions (usual cost: $330)! Often there are major deals for limited-term gym memberships, or a finite number of pilates/yoga/dance classes—which is just what most people need to get a jump start on healthy living–without committing major bucks.

Some big red flags? 1) Anything that says you can “work from home” and make tons of money 2) When the email from the employer looks fake or is riddled with grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors 3) The employer is quick to ask for a credit check 4) You’re asked to wire money or transfer suspicious goods.

Photo: CBS News

Here’s a clip of the segment below:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQd1hPfsWjg

“SWEET 16″ BIRTHDAY
It’s your sweet 16!!!! Be the most popular kid in school by featuring your fabulous 16th birthday party on national TV!!! Does your Dad want nothing but the BEST for you at your “Sweet 16th” birthday celebration? If you or someone you know is turning 16 in July, August, or September and wants to add to the extravagant party plans, please contact us ASAP at castingfoodnet@gmail.com

“WEDDING PROPOSAL”
Want to give the proposal of a lifetime on national TV? Are you ready to propose to your girlfriend but just not sure how to make it special and memorable?!! Let us help create the perfect surprise proposal dinner party for you and your soon to be bride. If you or someone you know is ready to pop the big question please contact us ASAP at castingfoodnet@gmail.com

“MOTHER/DAUGHTER-N-LAW”
Are you at odds with your overbearing mother-n-law? Does she always seem to know best? Do you want to prove once and for all you can throw the picture perfect party in hopes to ultimately please her? If so, please contact us ASAP at castingfoodnet@gmail.com

“ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?”
Do you want your dream wedding on TV? Are you a perfectionist who will you stop at nothing for the perfect event? Are you getting married in the next few months and need a Chef to cook for the ultimate wedding reception? If so, please contact us ASAP at castingfoodnet@gmail.com

Anyone else cringe watching last night’s debut episode of NYC Prep, the Gossip-Girl-like addition to the Bravo lineup of not-your-reality television? The series delves into the charmed lives of wealthy New York city private school teens, and their lone public/magnet school friend. 

As the New York Times noted, as self-assured and ‘go-getter’ as the characters try to come off, their teen angst and anxiety can’t help but permeate their every interaction. And that’s okay– because they are, well, teenagers, after all!  But since they’re putting it all out there for us to critique, I’ll have to comment. Some of the most cringeworthy moments of the episode– seen in the above clip– centered on what the girls considered effective networking strategies, e.g.,  Taylor staging an awkward mixer to help her social status; Jessie bulldozing her way around a fashion party to meet only “people in the business”; and Camille randomly showing up at a date between PC and Kelli in an attempt to buff up her Harvard application. Oh dear. As we say in the South, Bless their hearts. Not a very Go-Getter Girl way to go about things– especially the fact that they are confessing all their tactical maneuvers to the camera! 

You have to applaud Jessie and Camille’s desire to get out there and make connections. Their mini-grown-up lives have introduced them to nothing if not the reality that ‘who-you-know matters’ sometimes. But they could use some pointers in the “savvy” department. For example, in the clip here, Camille had this priceless line: “If PC could help me out with Operation Smile and getting on the Board, I think that would make this dinner really productive.”   Ugh! Note to the ladies of NYC Prep: Networking at its best is about simply building relationships. It is free-flowing and  not overtly quid-pro-quo and favor-/ job-seeking.  When it starts getting so transactional (“Hi, my name is Camille. What can you do for me?”), everyone gets uncomfortable. And, even if you get what you want, or think you want, that time, people will probably be less apt to help you down the line if you come across as too self-serving or, well, obnoxious. As you’ll learn probably the second you walk onto your college campuses, the folks you meet now are going to be there  through all the ups and downs of your career. And, being decent, cordial, and open-minded to new people will benefit you more in the long run than being a status-seeking missile (ahem, Taylor).

Anyway, just some food for thought. Clearly, I’ll be tuning in next for another installment of NYC Prep!